I’m doing a 14-day Master Cleanse with my sister.
I know, crash diets are bad, etc, but it’s for various reasons. #1 being that my cousin from Korea called asking me to be a tour guide for businessmen on Sept 22nd – theyre connected to my aunts and uncles. Which means, they’ll be taking pictures, I’ll be in them, and my relatives will see them. So I need to lose weight.
However, to keep my sanity this time and avoid the grips of ED, I will be smart this time. Back then, I had no goals or dreams. But I’m returning to school this month, I’m reading nourishing and fun books (like ‘Eat Pray Love’ and Harry Potter Goblet of Fire), my family and I are getting along GREAT, I’m much better at managing my stress, I’m proactive instead of constantly anxious about potential problems, and I am much more stable and happy than before. I’ve also been sick for the past 2 weeks, so this will help my health too.
After the 14-days, I will be eating healthy in moderation like veggies, protein from fish and seafood, whole grains, and lots of korean soup.
Anyways, I’m at the library typing up a reinstatment form for financial aid for school. My past has ruined my academic records and financial aid eligibility so I’m writing to appeal. I need financial help to finish my general requirement courses.
I’m also waiting to hear back from WWU… I hope they accept me again…
Go to Source
I’m doing a 14-day Master Cleanse with my sister.
I know, crash diets are bad, etc, but it’s for various reasons. #1 being that my cousin from Korea called asking me to be a tour guide for businessmen on Sept 22nd – theyre connected to my aunts and uncles. Which means, they’ll be taking pictures, I’ll be in them, and my relatives will see them. So I need to lose weight.
However, to keep my sanity this time and avoid the grips of ED, I will be smart this time. Back then, I had no goals or dreams. But I’m returning to school this month, I’m reading nourishing and fun books (like ‘Eat Pray Love’ and Harry Potter Goblet of Fire), my family and I are getting along GREAT, I’m much better at managing my stress, I’m proactive instead of constantly anxious about potential problems, and I am much more stable and happy than before. I’ve also been sick for the past 2 weeks, so this will help my health too.
After the 14-days, I will be eating healthy in moderation like veggies, protein from fish and seafood, whole grains, and lots of korean soup.
Anyways, I’m at the library typing up a reinstatment form for financial aid for school. My past has ruined my academic records and financial aid eligibility so I’m writing to appeal. I need financial help to finish my general requirement courses.
I’m also waiting to hear back from WWU… I hope they accept me again…
Go to Source
My love to you too H., so glad to see you feeling better and seeing such amazing recovery and such excitement about your future plans & study at Uni – awesome…
I’ve been really tired for a long time….hardly any sleep….restricting in between days of forced eating ’normality’……pretending, being "fine" for everyone, which is exhausting….tricking my mind/thoughts with CBT hasn’t really worked so have been trying to work on ‘memories’ from childhood to find what is triggering me & imprisoning me…..guess I will have to wait & see how that works out.
Still positive that ED’s days are numbered & I will recover & fulfill my dreams. I’m just not sure how long it’s gonna take or what recovery actually look like!!
I am enjoying reading some books on those who have recovered from ED, OCD, addictions, abuse & related life stuff. Sometimes it helps me not to be so self focused & see that heaps of others have experienced worse than me, but sometimes they can trigger emotional stuff that is not so good! Worth it though!
Go to Source
My love to you too H., so glad to see you feeling better and seeing such amazing recovery and such excitement about your future plans & study at Uni – awesome…
I’ve been really tired for a long time….hardly any sleep….restricting in between days of forced eating ’normality’……pretending, being "fine" for everyone, which is exhausting….tricking my mind/thoughts with CBT hasn’t really worked so have been trying to work on ‘memories’ from childhood to find what is triggering me & imprisoning me…..guess I will have to wait & see how that works out.
Still positive that ED’s days are numbered & I will recover & fulfill my dreams. I’m just not sure how long it’s gonna take or what recovery actually look like!!
I am enjoying reading some books on those who have recovered from ED, OCD, addictions, abuse & related life stuff. Sometimes it helps me not to be so self focused & see that heaps of others have experienced worse than me, but sometimes they can trigger emotional stuff that is not so good! Worth it though!
Go to Source
Nice to see you back, amrita! I cant comment on your blog so just giving you a shoutout here 
So a few updates.
I’m 90% physically recovered from my 2-week sickness. Started jogging yesterday. Back to work tomorrow. YES, YES, YES. I hated being sick and stuck in bed all day.
I’m determined to finish school. I’ve applied to WWU as a returning student. Hopefully they’ll take me back. If not, I’ll continue my science classes at a community college and apply to Bastyr Univ in the fall where I know I’ll be accepted, plus they have my MOST IDEAL program in Nutrition. If WWU accepts me, I’ll start in January and major in Exercise and Sports Science. If they reject me, it’s Nutrition at Bastyr. It’s a win-win situation. I’m hoping to take a chemistry class this fall, but it’s full… so I’m going to just attend the first day of class and ask and BEG the instructor to just let me in. I hear it sometimes works.
I have to finish school. Without a degree, I feel like a directionless, useless human being. I want a degree. I want a temporary english teaching job in Korea where a BA is required. I want to work in the health/nutrition field long term. I want to learn and be educated. The main reason why I kept ignoring school was cuz I thought, "I’m already 2-yrs behind, Ive already dropped out, my aunts/uncles mustve already given up on me so I might as well try to succeed in something other than school which will take another 2 yrs." But you know what, I’m not going to do this mainly for my uncles/aunts. It’s mainly for myself. Plus, I know they’ll be proud of me for trying again in school, and they’ll really be proud when I graduate.
Food. Yesterday was really healthy – no carbs, except fruits, and jogged. Today was so unhealthy cuz friend treated me to lunch and dinner. Dimsun (chinese) for lunch and pizza for dinner. I had 2 slices. but I’m not freaking out about it. 30-min after the meal, I felt very uncomfortable and wanted to b/p… but I didn’t. Instead, I went to the library, turned in papers for school application, etc… which made me focused/motivated for school… which took away my ED urges. Same thing after dinner.
I am so ready to be a top student.
Go to Source
Comments